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Your Guide to Sounding Smart

Your Guide to Sounding Smart

Hajera Naveed, Kabir Sawlani, Editor-in-Chief, and Abby Stockmal, Editor-in-Chief

October 3, 2018


Filed under Columns, Satire, Top Stories

Whether we would gladly admit it or not, we all would like to appear smarter to those around us--or, better yet, emerge percipient to the laymen encircling us. The latter is perspicuously the better option. Who cares if no one comprehends what you are declaring? It is then that they sense your intel...

Surviving the ever-changing weather

Surviving the ever-changing weather

Thea Sankari, Samia Douedari, Section Editor, and Hannah Anderson, Editor-in-Chief

April 18, 2018


Filed under Columns, Satire

Remember that one time, like five days ago, when it was sunny, 70 degrees, and everyone was happy? You know the day. It was the one when you were wearing shorts and sitting in the courtyard during lunch. What a good day. See, it's snowing now, but you will see beautiful days like that again soon. Mayb...

Pitbullpalooza

Pitbullpalooza

Brandon Belgrad, Everett Eck, Section Editor, and Hannah Anderson, Editor-in-Chief

April 9, 2018


Filed under Columns, Satire, Top Stories

Naperville Ribfest: Lollapalooza with less drugs and more ribs. This superior four-day festival that's right in our backyard announced recently that international superstar Pitbull will be headlining the main stage on Thursday, July 5, and Hinsdale Central is buzzing. Walk around the hallways, ...

Junior Police: exposed

Junior Police: exposed

Abby Stephens, Nick Seda, Section Editor, and Hannah Anderson, Editor-in-Chief

November 7, 2017


Filed under Multimedia, Satire, Top Stories, Video

Disclaimer: The following video and story are satirical over-dramatizations of recent school events. Over the past few weeks, talk of students Juuling and vaping in hidden corners of the school has been circulating. While the school has official protocol for dealing with these issues, rumors began t...

Waitlisting sucks

Waitlisting sucks

Kunal Jobanputra and Sanya Sawlani, Editor-in-Chief

April 17, 2017


Filed under Columns, Satire

The college admissions process is a magical time for many seniors. People work hard for four years and reap the benefits of getting into one of their top choices. For those who are less fortunate, however, they sometimes have to settle for safety schools. No, not because they were rejected; they were...

How to look spiffy for prom this year

How to look spiffy for prom this year

Kunal Jobanputra and Sanya Sawlani, Editor-in-Chief

April 6, 2017


Filed under Columns, Satire, Top Stories

So, you want to know how to look spiffy for prom? Well, you came to the right place. I’m super spiffy. So spiffy, you can call me a spiff-muffin. Now, that’s spiffy. First step for looking spiffy at prom: get a cool shirt. If you already have a shirt, get another one. Because knowing you, you...

Why to welcome global warming

Why to welcome global warming

Jacob Belgrad, Riley Kowalski, Editor-in-Chief, and Libby McCarthy, Editor-in-Chief

March 1, 2017


Filed under Columns, Satire, Top Stories

After a February weekend with temperatures hitting the mid 70s, I did a lot of thinking. I thought about what shorts to wear, which sunglasses to put on, and where the sunscreen was. And with such a hot weekend, naturally, I thought about climate change too. We are already living in a climate changed ...

Is Santa real or just an illusion?

Is Santa real or just an illusion?

Kunal Jobanputra and Sanya Sawlani, Editor-in-Chief

December 7, 2016


Filed under Columns, Satire, Top Stories

It's a question that has puzzled individuals ever since the start of mankind: Is Santa real? Well, to answer that, we need to first answer if we, as a people, as a society, as a generation living on this universe, are real. Take a look in the mirror. Do you see yourself? Or is that just a reflection?...

I am the ‘Sexiest Man Alive’

I am the ‘Sexiest Man Alive’

Kunal Jobanputra and Sanya Sawlani, Editor-in-Chief

December 5, 2016


Filed under Satire, Top Stories

On November 15, 2016, Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson was named "The Sexiest Man Alive." On November 16, 2016, I was mad that People Magazine would do me such injustice. I mean, look at me.   Here are the reasons why I should be named the Sexiest Man Alive: Spice factor: This Dwayne kid...

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